Friday, February 20, 2009

Twilight, A Summary.

Holy hell I haven't posted in a while. But any ways I was kinda inspired my Maureen Johnson and her renditions of famous love tales, so I thought I would do something similar to Twilight.

Hi! I am Bella, I am uber responsible. I used to take care of my wild mother but decided to move to Forks to live with my dad so my mom can get some action with her hot new baseball player husband.

I really hate Forks.....I really do


AAHAHAH!!!!! VAN!!!....oh never mind....EDWARD!!!!

: How did you do that?
: I didn't do any thing!

: Yes you did tell me your secrets!!!
: NEVER!!!

: What are the Cullens?
Jacob: Vampires, and I am a werewolf...but oh wait you don't know that yet.
Bella: He's kinda cute, if only he were older...or at least looked older.

You saved me....again!
Edward: I can read peoples mind, that's how I found you.
Bella: Umm...awkward!
Edward: Don't worry I can't read yours, I don't know why.
Bella: Oh that's, good.(score! back to picturing you with out a shirt!)

: What do you think I am?
Bella: Vampire.
Edward: Wow, your good!

Meet my family, my big animal eating vampire family!
Bella: Whoa! Can they do stuff like read minds too?
Edward: Yeah, Alice can see the future, Jasper can influence and read emotions, Emmet is really strong, Carlise and Esme are super nice and Rosalie is a super bitch.

Theirs a storm a brewin!
Cullens: Lets play baseball!
Bella: WTF!

: Nomads!
Nomads: HUMAN!!!

: I have your mom, come to me alone...and don't tell any one, I will know if you tell any one!
Bella: Okay
James: I can't believe she bought that!

: AH! evil vampire!!!!
James: Your really dumb!
Edward: Leave my dumb girl alone!
Bella: I am not dumb!
Edward: You came alone to meet an evil vampire.
James: Yeah, even I wouldn't do that.


What happened?
Edward: We saved you and told everyone you fell down the stairs.
Bella: No ones gonna believe that!
Edward: Really?
Bella: Well...okay, so maybe they will.

I hate dances!
Edward: Shut up! I like to dress sharp!
Edward: You look really hot!
Bella: That's better, lets be together forever!
Edward: Okay, but lets wait until the 4th book, we gotta milk this story!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

TAG, YOUR IT!!!....and dont give me that "I am not playing any more" BS either. Your playing!

So, I decided to respond to Maggie's "Tag" blog because I thought it would be cool, if everyone knew 25 stupid facts about me. Any who.....

1.I hate celery! It is a stupid, stupid vegetable that never should have been grown. Why would God curse us with such and awful thing! If I had my way...which I will soon when I take over the world...I will order the termination of every celery stalk! But for now, I deal with hunting them down by myself...well with Sally of course.


2.My best friend in the whole world is Jacob. We actually met through a fight....which I started oddly enough. Any ways we have been best friends for like 7 years which is surprising because we are like complete and total opposites sometimes. Also, we are kinda telepathic, we will totally say what the other person was thing and be like "HOLY SHIT!!!, I was just thinking that!"

I have "dance fever", Jac had...well...a fever.

3.KaCee was actually friends with me before dating Jacob and although we never had direct contact for extended periods of time, technically I have known KaCee longer. In fact, our parents were friends and during my Mom's 40th birthday party we hung out together and watched "Josie and the Pussycats".

KaCee says Hey! Whats goin' on!

4.Whenever someone finds a magic lamp, I wonder "why don't you just wish to have all of the genie's powers without the restrictions of a master or lamp." Then I realize...their are no such things as magic lamps or genies, and then I frown.

Genies!!!!...PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!!! Itty-bitty living space!

5. I have been to Europe....its really kick ass!!!
Look a guard...with a funny hat! Don't make him laugh though...they're trained to kill!!!!

6. I have a love hate relationship with spiders. I think they're cool, but if I get near one, I tend to freak out like a little girl....yeah. Same thing with cockroaches too, except I just hate them...and want them to die.
AAAAHHHH!!!....I won't even post a cockroach, way to gross!

7. I never understand why people come back to Albany...or any small town for that matter. I mean i guess it's on thing if you wanna raise a family or whatever, but if your single why not pick a random place and move like Hawaii or Italy! I am just gonna pack my stuff, throw a dart at a world map and just go.(need to learn to throw darts first though)
I am gonna runs off!!!...with my bunny...Lord Mac Fluffy Flanagan III!

8. I hate reality TV!!! They all need to go away...this looks like a job for Sally!
DIE, DIE, DIE!!!!!!!

9. Music kicks ass! I really like being introduced to new bands and genres of music....unless its some lame scream-o band...or country.
These two are so not okay!

10. I really like Kanye West, but only for his style and a person he kinda sucks balls! (he actually said if they wrote a Bible today he would be in it...WTF!!! what the hell has he done besides sing!)

11. I have ADD and take adderall to.....LOOK A SHINY NICKEL!!!!!!!!!!!


12. I love old people who cus! It's so adorable when an old lady is all like "SON OF A BITCH!!!" So precious!


13. I drive an '06 Dodge car loves me and I love it back!!!!!


14. I am a hardcore nerd!!! I read comic books, play video games, watch dorky movies,read graphic novels and I even have a collection of Star Trek action figures...the next generation one not that lame ass William Shatner, Picard for life yo!


15.I really, really like to read!

16. Because of 15, I have accumulated a vast collection of random knowledge and facts...most of it about comic book or mythology....this adds to number 14....I am a hopeless nerd.


17.I love to swim, but if I am in the ocean, I am not afraid of sharks....I am afraid of gaint octopuses and squids....freakin' scary man!

18.I have watched a lot of movies...a lot of them independent, but their are a large chunk of them that are main stream....I even like chick *COUGH!!!!* flicks *COUGH!!!!, COUGH!!!!*

GO AWAY!!!!!

19.I have a lightening bolt scar on my forehead that I got from a magical fight with the potty when I was a wee little Colt.
Stupid Potty, I nearly had him beat to!!!

20. I wish super powers were real and if they were I would want the power to copy peoples powers....because Imsa greedy bitch!

21. I played football for three junior high it was fun but by the time I got to high school, I was done.
I was done!

22. I frequently get into fights with authority figures....especially teachers...we just don't get along.

23. My name means "man from a dark town" and my mom's name means "the dark one"...weird huh?

Its me mum!

24.I turned 11 on September 11, 2001....creepy!

I really didn't say that I was only 11...then again it is me...I totally did!

25. I have 6 letters in my first name, 6 in my middle name and 6 in my last....more creepiness!!!

See I can't be the devil...this kid already is...position has been filled.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

My mom thought I was the really

So for English I have been working on this research paper involving witches, pagan peoples, their maybe faeries (not the gays) in the near future, idk its a work in progress ya know.Any how, I have some books for research, because its a research paper, my mom found these and liked freaked out! She was like "are you a, a...warlock! are you denouncing Christianity!" I was like no mom calm down, and immediately had to show her my work, notes and such. Any who I don't know why she would immediately jump to, "omg! Warlock!", before calling me. Do I look like some goth kid who has issues! I am like the Mr.Happy, hell I am the king of Happyshire, the emperor of the world of Happy! I can't imagine what went through her head...probably something like this...

and then I imagine she fainted....

I wonder if thoughts of like Voldemort 0r the Wicked Witch of the West flashed through her mind. Any who, Everything is settled now, I am not a demon child and my mom knows it. The end...or is it, BUM BUM really it's over.-Colt

You're Awesome!!!

Okay so work last night totally sucked! We made like 35 bucks totally. You may be saying to your self "Self, that's an good amount of money for a 5 hours shift." And you would be totally right, if we (Ft, Griffin peeps) weren't so used to 60, 80, 90 bucks a night! So last nights bounty was a very small and sad bounty.
But on a lighter note, I hung out with my broha Jac, and he showed me hilarious guy off of Youtube named Mitchell Davis. He is HI-larious. Any who here is one of his videos because I wanna let you all know that you're awesome! (and to get well/happy graduation/your fired)